I haven’t blogged in a while and I figured it’s about time for an update before everything begins to change. This is a very bittersweet season for me as a lot of change is coming and I have all sorts of mixed feelings about it all. So I’m going to be real and I’m going to share where my heart is at with all of it.
Joe and I are only living in our little apartment for 22 more days. On April 28th we are going to move in with a family from church who we love so much! I am excited to do life with them every day and learn as much as we can from them. While I am so excited, I also am feeling so sentimental about packing up our first home soon. It’s just a little one-bedroom apartment with thin walls where we constantly hear the neighbors music blasting, but it’s also filled with many memories of Joe and I figuring out what we want our marriage and community to look like. We have shared so many meals here and experienced so much of God’s goodness. I’m definitely going to be okay after I get over the sentimental aspect – but this first year of marriage that we are spending in Spokane is quickly coming to an end and I’m feeling sad about that. We have such great communities, both through Moody and our church, and it’s going to be hard to leave that. I’m thankful that we already have so many wonderful people to return to in Michigan.
It was really hard for us to decide whether we should stay in Spokane or move back to Michigan. I think that in the end I realized that living in Spokane was more about this certain vision I had for my life. I pictured myself hiking all around and taking cool pictures and living this great adventure. First of all, let’s be real about the fact that I’m not the biggest fan of hiking and how tiring it is climbing up these mountains… I’m not sure how people do it. I really had to get to a place where I trusted that whatever God has for us, even if it doesn’t seem as exciting, is exactly where I want to be. In the end, God made it super clear to us that He is leading us back to Michigan. Literally I have no idea what either of us will be doing… but for some reason God is leading us back there and we’re trusting that He will make His purpose clear in His time.
A huge thing that scares me about the future once we get back to Michigan is the reality that I have no idea what Joe and I will do for work. Every part of me wants to control this and contact everybody in the world to try to find a job, but I’m learning to trust more and more that God does have a purpose for us and knows that we need jobs. While being wise and looking around for jobs, I also trust that God will provide and care for us.
We will probably be back in Michigan around July 25th. We’ll be settling in for a bit and then today I decided to schedule my hip surgery for August 25th… so there’s that! This hip surgery being scheduled continues to take away my control of my job situation and even how I will get anything done from August 25th until mid-October. Strangely enough, I’m feeling so at peace as I rest in whatever God is going to do during this time and as He continues to teach me to trust Him with my entire life and all of my plans. So if anybody has any books you want to recommend or shows to watch on Netflix, I’ll have six weeks to lay in bed and read/watch tv. I’d love recommendations!
Whenever I try to plan and figure out our future, I feel so uneasy and start to worry. But through all of that, God continues to truly overwhelm me with a peace that calms every anxiety – a peace that only He can provide. If you guys could all be praying for us, we would love that. We have a lot of adventures planned for this summer and it’s literally going to be the best, but they will be followed by a lot of uncertainty. I continually wonder how people can walk through this life without knowing Jesus. This process and marriage would be a complete disaster if we didn’t have Him guiding us every step of the way!